| Flickr.com |
[Mon - 03/19/07 - 4:13pm] |
Does anyone have a flickr account?
Make friends with meeee if you do!!
My name is notquitealmost.
|
|
|
[Wed - 10/18/06 - 11:27am] |
I un-broke up with Josh.
I am enjoying the English Lit lectures currently, finding the Classics lectures ridiculously easy (having already studied the Odyssey at A-Level) and the English Language lectures are just OMGWTFIDKSTFU. Everyone else seems to be able to transcribe words into the IPA fluently while I get stuck wondering if a sound is more like the a in 'cat' or in 'calm'.
I've decided to give it till Christmas at least, although I am still applying to UCAS and doing the dreaded personal statement :(
Sinead
xxx
|
|
|
[Tue - 10/10/06 - 9:41am] |
Hello.
I'm still really, really unhappy at Edinburgh. I hate doing three subjects instead of just English Lit... and even if I try to be positive and stay here even though I'm absolutely miserable and crying all the time, the course isn't going to get any better.
I know everyone that replied to my last entry said I should just stick at it, but how long do you have to make yourself be unhappy for before you know that it isn't the right place for you?
It's not really about having friends any more, although I miss all my friends from home SO MUCH. I feel really depressed and I had practically decided to take a gap year and reapplying to Newcastle through UCAS, but then I just changed my mind and came back yesterday. Nothing's changed - the course is still shit and I'm still feeling really unhappy.
But then I don't know if I'd be any happier at Newcastle next year, or even this year if I transferred. Next year, I could share a flat with Ashley and at least I'd like the course, which would be something to stay for - but maybe the misery is all in me. I just don't know. But I'm sick with worry, lying awake every night wondering what I should do. I'm not getting any sleep and I can't seem to eat and I'm crying so much. I've never felt this bad about anything in my life, ever. I seem to keep deciding to take a gap year, accomplish things like my Grade 8 and my driving test, so I dunno why I keep changing my mind.
I don't know what to do, but I also don't know how long I can go on feeling this miserable for. Should I wait till Christmas and see if I stop having the feeling in my tummy that everything's being ripped apart and I can't carry on? I don't know.
Sorry to be so gloomy,
Sinead
xxx
|
|
|
[Wed - 10/4/06 - 10:05am] |
Hello.
I'm not doing too well today. I'm really, really not having a good time at Uni. It feels like everyone else has made loads and loads of friends, but I haven't. All the people on my corridor know each other... but no-one talks to me. Holly, Dan, Neale and Calum are the only people I talk to - apart from Laurie, who's leaving after the semester.
I'm feeling really bad all the time. I woke up and just cried today, after falling asleep crying last night. I don't know what to do about it. My Director of Studies has her office hour today, so I guess I'll go and see her... but I don't know what I'm going to say. I mean, if I drop out then I'll just have to reapply to other places and since I only got an A and 2 Bs, I can't see where I'm going to get in. Even if I transfer to Newcastle, where I know people, I won't necessarily be living near them and everyone again will have already made friends. And it's unlikely that I could even transfer.
Holly and Dan say they're looking at getting a flat after Christmas, but I dunno how likely that is because we'd still have to pay for Halls of Residence, etc. And Dan's reapplying through UCAS, and Holly wants a transfer after a year.
I feel like I can't cope with it all. I'm really, truly miserable. I'm trying to get involved in things - Book Club tonight, Tai Chi tomorrow, but if Dan doesn't come with me to the Book Club I'll have to walk by myself in the dark for half an hour. And even so, I can't see myself making any friends at these places.
But I don't want to just give up and drop out... I'd feel like a failure, and there's always the chance that it might get better.
Josh never phones me, either. I don't know if missing him is making me blow this all out of proportion, although I think even if I wasn't missing him I'd still be having a shit time.
I don't know what to do.
Sinead
xxx
|
|
|
[Thu - 09/28/06 - 8:58pm] |
|
What was supposed to be a staying-in-to-catch-up-with-all-the-reading-night has turned into a read-a-page-and-burst-into-tears-thinking-about-how-much-I-miss-Josh night. Oh dear.
|
|
|
[Tue - 09/19/06 - 10:56am] |
Well, here I am. In my room that does not feel like it is my room, in the house which is not my house, with my friends who do not yet feel like my real friends. Freshers' Week is over. It involved a lot of drinking, and meeting people whose names I cannot remember and will never speak to again.
Josh came on Friday, and left on Monday. I thought it would never hurt as much as it did when I left for the first time - I spent a lot of time crying and saying I wanted to break up with him, because I didn't think it could ever get any better. But when I had to walk away from him at the train station, I cried again and again even though I'll be seeing him in three days' time. Loving someone so much and knowing that however long you're going to be together, you'll never see each other enough is absolutely awful. Quite a lot of things that have happened lately have made me realise life isn't always that easy.
So, I'm leaving in about ten minutes to head to my first meeting for English Lit. At Edinburgh, you have to take two 'outside' courses in your first and second year. For the first two semesters, I have chosen English Language and Classical Literature. Nothing too far away or complicated, I am hoping.
I'm coming home on Friday and apparently I have to buy a Young Persons' Railcard. I hope that I can buy one at Edinburgh Station because otherwise I'll have to order it online and I will not get it in time. At least it will be something to do in the time between my English Lit lecture at 12 and my Classics Lecture at 4.
My timetable for the first semester allows me a lot more free time than I'd ever have imagined. I have 9 lectures a week, the earliest one starting at 12pm and all of Wednesdays off. I shall have to keep reminding myself that nearly all my work is to be done outside of lectures.
The thing I am mostly worried about is making friends on my course. Everyone already has a group of friends - and so do I, and they're very nice - but what if those three people are the only ones I'll ever know throughout my whole time at university? Laurie's leaving after the first semester anyway!
I'd better head off towards George Square now; it's a twenty five minute walk and I'm bound to have trouble finding the lecture theatre.
Love from a very apprehensive
Sinead
xxx
|
|
|
[Fri - 08/18/06 - 8:53pm] |
Hello.
I haven't been on here in months.
News -
Yesterday was Results Day, and I got into Edinburgh with an A in English Lit, a B in Psychology (which I am quite disappointed about as I should have got an A really), and a B in Classics :]
I also managed to get a C in General Studies - very disappointing. Apparently my 'making pretty patterns' approach in all the multiple choice questions fared me too well. I would have liked to have got a D; or even better to have failed. Alas! To further my disappoinment, my psychoanalytic approach did not gain me a merit in Advanced Extension Award, but I was mollified slightly by getting an A in Critical Thinking AS.
In other news, I am now 18... I went on Tour to Prague, then on holiday with my mummy and my boyfriend, to Ireland. Leeds Festival is in less than a week, and I am terribly excited about it. I hope not to be sick every day.
And there we have it - a nice and succinct update of my life.
Love,
Sinead
xxx
|
|
|
[Sat - 07/8/06 - 8:42pm] |
Doctor Who = Sinead sobbing for 20 minutes
Not only was it very very sad, it also reminded how much I don't want to leave for Uni.
Neither do I want to fail my exams.
I don't think I want the summer to end. Ever.
xxxxxx
|
|
|
[Thu - 07/6/06 - 3:47pm] |
Oh dear. I think people coming to view the house has actually made Mum flip. The amount of times I was called a 'selfish bitch' in one minute was probably a new World Record or something.
Now's probably not the best time to ask her if I can borrow a tenner.
|
|
|
[Sun - 07/2/06 - 8:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
I'm a bit bored of being sick with worry about stuff all the time!
Maybe if I started taking hard drugs, the feeling would go away.
I'm not really sure it's worth it.
I had to go to Orchestra today, to audition the new conductors. None of them were as good as Mr Kendall. I'm quite glad I'm leaving the orchestra at this point, because I think it will probably go downhill. I am very excited about going on Tour, however. As it's my last one, it had better be good!
There are, however, a lot of things I don't want to leave behind. *sadface*
I'm off to sleep (again) now... I'm not feeling very well. Surprise surprise. Am I ever well? I doubt it.
Sinead
xxx
P.S. Apparently JK Rowling is killing off two major characters in the last book. I was quite shocked it's only two! But who do you think they will be?
|
|
|
[Sat - 07/1/06 - 6:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Even with my Dad celebrating downstairs, I do feel a bit sorry for England...
They're not very good at penalties, are they?
xxx
|
|
|
[Mon - 06/26/06 - 2:49pm] |
I keep having nightmares about Results Day; today I woke up convinced that I'd taken 4 Roman Britain exams and gotten Ds in them all. Oh dear.
Today is the first sleep in I've had since my exams. I went to bed at ten (hardcore as, that) and woke up at eleven! Thirteen hours sleep for meeee.
Death Cab For Cutie tomorrow. I am (possibly) even more excited about seeing them this time... because I know how good they were last time, and because I have a good track record for finding boys at DCFC shows, lolerz. I blatantly stole that from Mosh, seeing as he said it yesterday. But I'm still excited :]
I think the wood-cleaning-stuff I used earlier has given me a headache; everything's gone dead dizzy!
Sinead
xoxo
|
|
| There's no place like home! |
[Sat - 06/24/06 - 8:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
Alice came to a fork in the road.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
My wonderful new red sparkly shoes definitely fit the impractical-to-wear-but-so-nice-to-look-at category. My feet are actually bleeding after walking round town all day, but they will be wonderful for the musical Tim and I are hoping to perform at the Orchestra's Student Concert.
Quite a good day today actually: I bought some clothes from Primark, some plimsoles from Toast, and ate a lot of chocolate. Tim had never had Red Bull before, and Rachael and I gave him two cans and he had a giggling fit for twenty minutes! Clearly he is not as used to it as we are... we did have 5 cans one day though, and even fell asleep, haha.
I applied for a job at David Lloyds, to work at functions and so on. I hope I get it, because I'd rather casual work than working a number of defined hours a week.
Sinead
xxx
|
|
|
[Wed - 06/21/06 - 11:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
Well.
All my exams that need revising for have finished now, the last one was Psychology today and I don't think it went very well, but I've had so much sugar I've practically forgotten all about it (:
General Studies is tomorrow, where Nicola and I are having a competition to see how many Mighty Boosh quotes we can get into our exam. I'm also going to have a lot of Red Bull beforehand; it's the only way to make it bearable really.
Advanced Extension Award English is next Thursday, but that's AGES away... I'm seeing Death Cab before that, and it can't really be revised for anyway.
I am so, so, SO dreading Results Day, but I am going to try and make this summer as productive and fun as possible... I will even try and get a job; I will have to stop being a spoilt child soon enough, I suppose.
OMG the hugest spider ever just crawled across the wall!!
OMG OMG I tried to catch it in a glass and it jumped out! Do spiders even jump???
Bloody hell, I think I'll switch off the computer and go into another room......
|
|
|
[Sat - 06/17/06 - 1:42pm] |
I think I am on the verge of a mental breakdown or something.
No, seriously.
I am having panic attacks and I just... I can't cope. I can't do it.
I am never going to get into University, because I just haven't revise or anything.
Oh dear.
|
|
|
[Thu - 06/15/06 - 9:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
I think I have found my favourite person to photograph: it's John.
( pictures )
Bye
xxxx
|
|
|
[Tue - 06/13/06 - 1:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
Five exams down, seven left.
Sometimes I feel that the extreme levels of my sarcasm are lost on most of the world.
It's a shame, really.
|
|
|
[Sun - 06/11/06 - 1:21pm] |
Is it wrong to have given up on revision already?
I think I'll go out for the rest of the day.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7){kind=small}
sinead_prongs's journal